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I May Be Cryin’ When I Walk Away. The Point Is, I’ll Be Walkin

When I was suffering in co-dependency, my arc of recovery was very, very, very, very long.

 

Like, extremely long.

 

It took me months, often years…sometimes, literally decades…to get over something. I’m talking about a(n):

 

  • broken relationship
  • ended friendship
  • unkind word
  • painful absence
  • perceived rejection
  • dirty look
  • icy body language
  • professional “failure”

 

I didn’t know that recovery could be quick.

 

I mean: I didn’t know that deep healing could be done to more thoroughly and directly address the root wounds that shaped my then toxic belief systems, hyper-reactive survival programs, entrenched defense mechanisms, nasty narrative structures, and traumatic somatic memory, in order to make my recovery precise and specific, therefore efficient.

 

No idea.

 

I thought that whatever my mourning period was…was whatever it was.

 

I used to say cliches like, “Oh, well. It is what it is.”

 

Except, it isn’t.

 

There’s no rule about the length of time it takes to get over someone.

 

There’s no rule about the length of time it takes to stop rumination.

 

There’s no rule about the length of time it takes to let go of an abuse pattern.

 

There’s no rule about the length of time it takes to complete your relationship with pain.

 

There’s no rule about the length of time it takes to move on from a career choice or any kind of relationship.

 

There’s also no rule about how it gets done.

 

I also used to think that my walking away from a disappointment, a “failed” test, an unyielding trial, and a “broken” dynamic had to be clean, clear, resolved, and strong.

 

Now that I think about it, during that season of my life, I almost stayed in toxicity until I could walk away with my head held high, shoulders square, eyes steady, and sure strides.

 

I don’t advise this.

 

Instead, crawl away, blubbering and wailing, wishing and hoping, lamenting, and gnashing your teeth. Do it complaining. Do it afraid. Do it in baby steps. Just do it.

 

I learned, the hard way, that the bottom line is to go. Just go.

 

I learned that I may be cryin’ when I walk away, but, baby, I’ll be walkin.

 

That’s the point.

 

The point is NOT, necessarily, to walk away with any pride at all. Forget that.

 

When your life depends on it, scuttle out with your tail between your legs and figure out your sure strides later.

 

Cry and walk. Cry and walk. Cry and walk.

 

Just get the hell outa there.

 

Away from the:

 

  • broken relationship
  • ended friendship
  • unkind word
  • painful absence
  • perceived rejection
  • dirty look
  • icy body language
  • professional “failure”

 

Then, do the deep healing that can clear that root from the bud. Effectively. Efficiently. Expeditiously. Ethereally.

 

As you cry and walk, cry and walk, cry and walk, share with me Your #1 Problem. I read all the responses and I want to take your story into consideration, as we build this movement, and generate solutions to help you heal the t/Terrors in your soul + soma, and launch a revolution in your life.

 

#SupremeLoversUnite #GetSome #LetsAllGetFree #ActuallyYouCan #youNeedToTalkToYou #StartToday #Amen

 

Jeanine Staples is Associate Professor of Literacy and Language, African American Studies, & Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies at the Pennsylvania State University. Her book, The Revelations of Asher: Toward Supreme Love in Self, is an endarkened, feminist, new literacies event (Peter Lang, 2016). In it, she explores Black women’s t/Terror in love. She produces research-based courses and methodologies that enable marginalized girls and women to realize internal revelations that fuel external revolutions.

 

Dr. Staples’ next book details the evolution of her acclaimed undergraduate course, The Philadelphia Urban Seminar. In it, she explores Supreme Love in schools. She shows how she generates curriculum and methodologies that incite anti-racist, anti-sexist, anti-ableist pedagogical stances among teachers interested in urban education and equity for all people in schools and society.

 


Love Jeanine


You are invited to Change Your Life! Dream. Declare. Deliver: The Successful Woman


#SupremeLoversUnite #GetSome #LetsAllGetFree #ActuallyYouCan #youNeedToTalkToYou #StartToday #Amen

 

Jeanine Staples is Associate Professor of Literacy and Language, African American Studies, & Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies at the Pennsylvania State University. Her book, The Revelations of Asher: Toward Supreme Love in Self, is an endarkened, feminist, new literacies event (Peter Lang, 2016). In it, she explores Black women’s t/Terror in love. She produces research-based courses and methodologies that enable marginalized girls and women to realize internal revelations that fuel external revolutions.


Dr. Staples’ next book details the evolution of her acclaimed undergraduate course, The Philadelphia Urban Seminar. In it, she explores Supreme Love in schools. She shows how she generates curriculum and methodologies that incite anti-racist, anti-sexist, anti-ableist pedagogical stances among teachers interested in urban education and equity for all people in schools and society.

 

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